Human Rights Act to be replaced with Warhammer rulebook (Daily Mash)

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Human Rights Act to be replaced with Warhammer rulebook (Daily Mash)

Postby Stu's Idle » Sat Dec 31, 2016 3:39 pm

Human Rights Act to be replaced with Warhammer rulebook

THE Government is replacing the Human Rights Act with Warhammer 40,000: The Rules.

The 208-page science fiction wargame rulebook is seen as the ideal replacement because it allows every possible type of conflict to be resolved with only a handful of dice.

A government spokesman said: “The legal system is convoluted and impossible for the layman to understand. Using Warhammer 40,000 we can reproduce that perfectly, but on a much smaller scale using beautifully painted miniatures.

“If you are claiming a right to privacy, for example, we roll two twenty-sided dice to determine your score, take away any debuffs – low income, being foreign – and measure it against the government’s own total.

“We make our rolls behind the books so you can’t see, but it’s all perfectly fair.”

The first case, a challenge of the government’s right to detain terror suspects without trial, has already been heard on Kulth the War World and ended in the defeat of the Imperium of Man by Tyranid Biomorphs without the right to appeal.

Gove added: “My office has been asked why we chose to use the science-fictional Warhammer 40,000 rules rather than the original Warhammer Fantasy setting.

“Simply, we are not barbarians.”

(From the Daily Mash: http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/soci ... 5051598341)
Flames Of War: Soviets
Team Yankee (6mm and 15mm): Soviets
Bolt Action: Soviets
DUST: SSU aka Soviets (anyone spotted the theme yet?)
Star Wars Armada: Imperials (Space Soviets, a long, long time ago)
Epic Armageddon: Imperials (Space Soviets, in the grim, far future)
Frostgrave: Dwarves (Short Soviets)

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